It’s the fifth day. When you can’t sleep and the same thoughts rotate through your mind, the rest of the world seems faded, as though you’re looking at everything through a sort of half light. I haven’t slept more than a few hours since Sunday. Caffeine and enthusiasm for what lays before me has kept me going, but there’s a sort of coursing throb in the side of my head that makes it hard to focus. I’ve taken a lot of notes this week.
I’m hoping that soon, my body will tell me to calm down, that it will take over and make me rest. There’s one thing you can say about insomnia, it gives you a lot of think time.
Have you ever had trouble sleeping? It’s a lonely place. The rest of the world is still and quiet and time seems to roll out before you. Inevitably, you get tired and your eyes close, but you’re never quite out for the count. Somewhere, at the edge between sleep and daybreak, there’s a place where your mind drifts off and tells you things you don’t want to think about when you’re fully conscious.
This sounds a bit odd, I realise, but bear with me, it’s five days now.
There’s a point here, I know it. I think what I’m trying to say is that just before you drift away, the thing that is foremost in your mind reveals itself. This is easier said than done, but when you go to sleep tonight, just as you start to nod off, try to capture an image in your mind, a random thought from your day or something you heard. Whatever that is could be quite telling. Write it down and see where it takes you.