I might have mentioned that I’ve been going through cancer treatment. It has been a bit unsettling to say the least, but today I had my first at real piece of good news. It appears that 1. My doctors know what they’re doing 2. My treatment is working 3. Chemo side-effects are starting to dissipate 4. I’m heading towards surgery to annihilate this fucker once and for all.
Although I’m relieved, there’s a part of me that has finally taken a few minutes to process this information and be a bit scared. The idea of getting knocked out with some heafty drugs and getting cut open and a load of bits removed sounds awful at the best of times, but it’s a bit wired and unsettling when you’re looking forward to it as a means of getting well and terrified of a scalpel in equal measure. Mixed emotions doesn’t quite do the sensation justice. Still, I’ll take today’s news a the first victory.
Have you ever dreaded and looked forward to something at the same time? Like getting exam results or sky diving?
Describe what it was and how you dealt with the feeling. I expect I’ll be covering this subject again soon.