I close friend told me that her husband wants a divorce. He told her yesterday, when they were on an outing with their three young children. He said it in front of them. It made me realise that while I’m going through my own hardship and tough time, everyone, everywhere, everyday is dealing with something of their own.
I felt horrible for my friend. To have to explain to three kids what’s happening and to have to deal with the fact that her relationship is potentially over is a lot to deal with. I think she knew that things were heading this way, or at least, that there were issues for a long time, but she chose not to tell me. She was afraid of worrying me while I was dealing with my illness. In truth, if that was the case, I would have preferred to know, so that we could get through it together. I’m still holoding out hope that they’ll get through this.
This whole period of my life is making me wonder, what other issues are my friends dealing with that I don’t know about? I admit, I am a bit self-cerntered at the best of times, but for the past three months, I’ve been completely absorbed in the day to day fight to get healthy and to my shame and embarrassment, I’ve hardly asked anyone how they’re doing. at least, not with my conviction to hear them out. It begs the question, illness and medication, or just plain selfishness? Do I sincerely ever listen to people or am I just waiting to talk?
This is going to take more thinking about, so for now, think about some of the people in your life. What are they going through? When was the last time you asked someone how they were doing and really listened? Write about what you would like to say to your friends and family to let them know you care. Try this, think about a time when someone shared their troubles with you. Then, write a letter to them (not to send, just as an exercise) telling them what their confining in you means to you and how you feel about what they have shared with you. Another exercise you could try is to think about a difficult time or incident in your life and describe it in the 3rd person.
Good luck, in writing and everything else…